Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Ready, Set, WAIT.

While I realize I am only 34 1/2 weeks pregnant, I have reached the stage where I'm nesting, uncomfortable and most importantly READY for Chloe's arrival. At some point over the last week I realized that throughout all the things I have prepared for, worked hard to be and have anticipated happening in my life, being a mother fits best.

You know, I have laughed in the past at the thought of me being in charge of another life...(especially when I think back to what my priorities were in college). However, there is nothing I want more (other than to be Andrew's partner for the rest of my life) than to be Chloe's mom. It's the coolest feeling ever to feel peaceful in that role. I'm sure my friends with kiddos can attest to this. It's peaceful and yet, so unbelievably exciting. I find myself day dreaming about singing with her in the car, having fun conversations with her about life, and even just pushing the her around the neighborhood in the stroller while she happily dangles her feet. I want her to love life the way I do. I want her to question everything and love unconditionally. I want her to never feel the need to settle and most importantly, feel empowered to be authentic. Big goals, I know. But there isn't a doubt in my mind that Andrew and I can be great parents. It feels nice to have that confidence in myself and in my amazing husband.

So now, we are left to wait. I have, from the beginning, felt that Chloe was coming early. I have no reason to feel that way and recently have assumed that its because I WANT her to be here already. However, everyone else seems to think she's coming late. While a healthy, happy baby girl is absolutely the primary goal.... I've never been good at being patient.

We go next Tuesday for our 36 week appointment. At that time, they will tell us how much she's weighing, the current status of my placental lakes, and what direction she is currently facing. We already know she is head down (thank goodness), but she was last seen "sunny side-up" which is destined to be a painful delivery. So, we're hoping she has turned and is facing my spine now. Apparently, this is the natural positioning b/c its easier on the mom during delivery. But, if this is any indication of what she'll be like out of womb, then I fully expect her to remain "sunny side-up" for the heck of it. :)

I will update again after that appointment and let everyone know the status of our Chloe. Until then, think happy thoughts and say some prayers that she remains healthy, active and stays wherever she needs to stay (regardless of an impatient mother!)


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Baby Mama movie, take two.

so its been a while since i've updated. sorry about that. life has been totally crazy in the ross household lately.

as i write, andrew is currently riding in the MS150 race that he has worked very hard to train for. i heard from him about 2 hours ago and they had 30 miles left to ride for the day. its 70 something today and 60 more tomorrow. not exactly 150 miles like it advertises, but that's because they've recently changed the route. i'm sure the riders don't mind cutting off 20 or miles :) anyway, he's doing great and i'm headed up to new braunfels in an hour to hang out with him and eat some BBQ :)

life is good. but i do find myself (as i seem to always do with big life events), daydreaming about the next stage. i have a hard time staying in the moment when i'm excited and/or nervous. in this case, i'm both.. i suppose.

we spent all of last saturday at our child birthing class and while it was (mostly) good, we both came away frustrated at the last half of the day. here is why...

i am ALL FOR having as natural of a birthing process as possible. i think its a natural experience, healthy for the baby (to a point) and good for the soul. HOWEVER, sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. some women need a cesearean section. some women are not as pain tolerant (ahem). and some women have complications that call for varying medical interventions during the birthing process. but, as i try to live/remember each day... "if you want to hear God laugh, tell him YOUR plans." i know this going into the process of birthing. but what frustrated me during our class was that the information shared was EXTREMELY biased towards having a completely natural birthing experience. the moral of the story was that medicine was BAD, DANGEROUS and should be avoided, if possible.


maybe its because i've grown up around medicine my entire life. maybe its because i feel bad for the women who were told this for 8 hours non-stop and, in the end, may not have a choice. maybe its because i have a deep love of narcotics. i don't know, but i do know that this biased information is not true.

i left the class completely irritated at what information was given to us... by a representative of the hospital, no doubt. she made epidurals seems horrific and the idea of a c-section to be dangerous and very complicated. i agree, it IS an invasive surgery. do i WANT one? not really. will i be less of a woman if i have one? Nope. that's just dumb and really... women have enough negative dialogues playing around in their head regarding motherhood. let's not add to it, 'k nurse tammy?

anyway, just a little vent. i was sad for one lady in particular. she explained at the beginning that she was ONLY interested in a natural, silent birth. she wanted to birth at home until necessary. FINE, GREAT. she then sat through 8 hours of terrible stories about c-sections and medication and then told the class that she was 37 weeks pregnant and that her baby was breach and sunny side up (and she was uninterested in trying the inversion technique). well, crap on you. does it count as natural if c-section is the only option? she was completely defeated and depressed by the time the class was over. not the kind of attitude one hopes to have prior to bringing a child into this world.

as for me... andrew and i played out the scene in baby mama very nicely. we (and by we, i mean me) bounced on our exercise ball and excitedly exclaimed our plans for a epidural. we quickly became 'that couple.' as if that's a surprise to anyone, really.

we even got to have a little giggle moment in which our instructor advised us to begin "rubbing olive/mineral oil on my perineum to stretch the skin." that makes me laugh just to type it. but, for anyone that knows the baby mama movie... you know that you need to say that last sentence with a lisp. there are no exceptions. so, of course when our instructor did not have a lisp, i added one for special effects. she was not as impressed and andrew and i were. (i know... i'm the most mature sex therapist you know.)

so, anyway.. we are 33 weeks. that's awesome. some of my friends had already delivered their babies by this time and that blows my mind. every time i say i'm ready for her to be here, i have to stop myself. she's not ready yet. still needs a few more weeks to cook. but MAN, this last few weeks really tests the patience (of which i have little). but we are thrilled. everything is set up. clothes (all of them) are washed and smell devine and baby-like. both of her rooms are 90% done. its getting real. how cool is that? someone upstairs thinks its a good idea that we raise a child.

and i agree... we're pumped.

oh, and here is my latest baby bump picture. excuse the "i might fall over if you don't take this picture" look that i was sporting. it was midnight and you can tell.. ;)

peace, erin