And so, while things were a bit different this year (i.e. no going out to look at Christmas lights, no Christmas night Mi Tierra with the fam, no attendance of Christmas parties PERIOD), they were absolutely BETTER. Life is better. Sky is bluer (with sleep, yes). Even our dogs are getting the hang of our new life. And as we approach the 3 week mark, things are looking pretty sweet from our seats. And honestly, much of that has to do with the fact that in one week Chloe and I are FREE WOMEN. She will be cleared to leave the house and we will go whichever way the wind blows...probably to the grocery store and out to eat... BIG PLANS. HUGE. But even those things sound fun at this point.
That's not to say things aren't still a little shaky in the sleep department. I would be remiss to say that we aren't a bit nervous in this house every time the sun goes down. We aren't ever sure what baby is going to show up each night. You see... there are two.
Chloe the sleeping princess vs. Chloe the vampire child.
I would say out of seven days, we get to hang out with sleeping princess about two nights a week. On those days, good sleep means 3-4 hours between feedings and Andrew and I are easily able to trade off between diaper changes. Life is BEAUTIFUL the morning after sleeping princess visits.
However, vampire child is more often than not, the Chloe who shows up around 1 am. For the record, I'm not a terrible mother because of this name. I call her this because she DOES NOT SLEEP during these nights and likes to give neck hickeys while you hold her over your shoulder. It's one of those things that's cute and slightly strange at the same time. Anyway, back to the no sleeping thing.
It's those nights that I find myself tearing up at the sound of her first whimpering cry. The cry usually starts about an hour (or sometimes less) after I've settled her and placed her in her crib. It then takes me about 30 minutes after that initial set down to finally close my eyes. Why, you ask? Because for the first ten minutes I lay silently in bed, not wanting to move a muscle in order to make sure she's fully asleep. I barely breathe during that time. Then, I wait to hear her little 'i'm really tired' sigh. I then roll over, grab the monitor and watch her for the next ten minutes. I watch for eye movement, arm movement, ANY movement. She's quite tricky because she can flail around for a few minutes while she's sleeping. Tricky little vampire. For the last ten minutes I act like I'm turning the monitor off, only to turn it back on at the slightest sound of her cry. I flip that sucker on and off a good 10-15 times before I either accidently fall asleep or she starts crying.
So you see... I'm nuts. This contributes to my sleeplessness, but so does SHE! I'm getting better, but I have a hard time letting go of that monitor. Were you wondering if she's laying 2-3 feet from me in her cradle in my room? Why, yes...yes she is.
I dont' care and you shouldn't judge a sleep-deprived, over-protective, obsessive-compulsive mother. Bless my heart, I just can't help it.
Well, this post took a strange turn. I was supposed to talk about how great Christmas was.. because it WAS! One of the best. Here are some pictures to prove it :)
Our first Christmas as a family of three!
The whole Murphy (Ross) clan, Christmas Eve:
My sweet, sweet girl on Christmas Eve:
My fabulous parents before reading Chloe 'Twas the night before Xmas'...a new tradition.
I just needed others to witness the whip creamage going on in this picture.
Santa came!
Santa came and left Miss Chloe a note!
A darling girl and her sleep-deprived mother on Christmas morning.
A darling girl and her sleep-deprived father on Christmas morning.
Chloe's first walk outside in the neighborhood!
Oh those sleepless nights! How I remember and loathed them! I know you don't want to hear "it gets better" and "she'll learn how to sleep", but I promise ONE DAY she'll sleep. That certainly doesn't mean that you'll ever sleep again! Ha! Stuart always makes fun of me and says that I can hear when the boy's eyelids open. I call it MOTHERHOOD. All this to say, Chloe is stinkin' adorable and aren't baby monitors amazing?!
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