My name is Erin and in 48 hours...

I'm going to officially be a mom! How cool is that????

That being said, the moment obviously begs for a little introspection and reflection on life lessons thus far. It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that in 48 hours life will NEVER be the same again.

Honestly, there are tons of things that we experience in life that are life-changing. Weddings, divorces, people in and out of our lives.. .change is a constant. But some change is not necessarily as life-changing as others. At least not for me. For example, when Andrew and I got married, we both fell right into our roles as husband and wife. When we got engaged we said right away, we already 'felt' married. We had tons of time to practice, get to know each other and learn to be joined as forever partners. But this, this is HUGE. There is no such practice available. (With the exception our two small furries that are absolutely part of our family.) They sure FEEL like children when you wake up to puke in your bed at 4 a.m... but, I digress.

So, for life to change so drastically, so immediately and so completely- it's a little nerve-wracking to have no practice. I like to plan. I always have. It's empowering, works to control my anxiety and makes me feel organized.

I have said all throughout this process that planning was impossible, but secretly... I've tried. I've read the books, organized Chloe's closet about 100 times (by color, size, item, etc.) 48 hours out from her birth... I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... IT DOESNT MATTER THAT HER CLOTHES ARE ORGANIZED BY SIZE. What actually matters is that we adore her, we are ready for her, and we recognize her significance in our lives. That's it. That's all we can do. I'm finally okay with that (although, let's be honest, that doesn't mean I plan on DISorganizing her closet.) ;)

So, I wanted to compile a list of things off the top of my head that I want Chloe to know. These are the things I've learned from myself, life, and those most important to me. Then she can't say I didn't teach her anything...

Dear Chloe,
1. learn to love yourself early. it makes the rest of life much easier and MUCH more fun.

2. pay attention to people. that's how you learn the most about yourself.

3. enjoy time spent alone. figure out what YOU like doing and then do it whenever you can. it feels good to be good to yourself.

4. don't take yourself too seriously, but know that others might. you can't control that, but don't let it cramp your style.

5. when it comes time to pick a profession- do what you love. you can always figure out a way to make money doing what you love (thanks, dad).

6. never, ever, ever settle (thanks, mom).

7. be good to your partner. let your partner be good to you.

8. learn to enjoy food and try everything. but, don't let it consume you or allow it to be something you judge yourself about.

9. most of the time life doesn't make sense. appreciate it anyway.

10. college is absolutely a blast. let yourself go explore and figure out how to make good decisions during that time of your life. friends usually matter most during these years.

11. use your head for something other than a bow rack (thanks, creepy piano teacher).

12. learn to sit in the moment and listen to really powerful lyrics- music can change the way you think and feel. (its one of my favorite things in life and man, i hope you like tracy chapman one day).

13. its okay to like nice things. don't let people make you feel bad for doing so.

14. when people get jealous, they can get mean. don't make excuses for your success.

15. learn to fail. it never stops SUCKING, but it will make you a stronger person.

16. if you're anything like your mom, you're going to need to know how to use your sarcasm at appropriate times. it's fun to be spunky, but know that it may come with a cost.

17. read. a lot.

18. there is a difference between feeling sad and feeling angry, but most people don't realize that. anger is secondary to sadness, but its tricky because its usually easier to feel. let yourself be sad when you feel that way instead of masking it with anger. you'll thank yourself later.

19. learn the art of doing nothing. i'm not very good at that one...

20. love, love, love God. that's where i come in - I can't wait for you to know Him. He's just totally awesome.

Love, Mom

so, we'll see. armed with three different 'coming home' outfits, my birthing skirt and ipod birthing playlist- andrew and i will venture out tomorrow night to do the very best we can at being good parents. my two primary goals are: (1) deliver her and pray that she and I are safe and healthy. (2) love her like crazy.

i'm going to be a mom. its exciting. its totally unreal. and i thank God every night that its with Andrew by my side. let the show begin...

peace, erin