Writing from the depths of darkness..

So, some of you may already know, but I have given up Facebook for Lent. I participate in giving something up every year (no, I'm not Catholic.. Methodists do this as well). It's important to me for several reasons. First, I am extremely blessed. And by extremely, I mean this...

EXTREMELY. except in the losing weight department. but, i digress.

so, as a result, i feel that giving up something in my life to put a little extra effort into my relationship with God is a good thing. Does God care if I give something up? Probably not. Does He care if I make it the entire six weeks without said something? Probably not. He knows I adore Him. He knows I am grateful. However, this is my way of doing very little to remind myself just how lucky He has made me.

So... this year has been nothing short of absolutely phenomenal thus far. I have many things to be thankful for. I'm sure you know.. I write about them on (tear) Facebook all the time. So, here's the deal. I felt the need (and desire) to bring out the big guns. For great things, you sacrifice great things. I thought about giving up sweets. I figure its a win-win. I give up something I like, and I lose some poundage. However, then I realized I wanted to try harder. Like I said, I'm REALLY thankful. So, what is one area of life that I {might not} be able to live without? I felt my stomach drop and I knew right away...

It's my friend, and yours...Facebook.

Now, I know what you're thinking. I'm exaggerating. I'm hyping things up for a good read. Nope, I wish I was. I am addicted to Facebook. Completely and utterly addicted. And so, it had to go. And it has, for 48 LONG hours. I kid you not, I've got a countdown until my sweet addiction is back in my life.

So, here's the deal. I'm a nerd. Nothing new there. Some of the time I can hide this from others (but mostly not). However, with the introduction of this new non-Facebook lifestyle I'm sporting, out comes the researcher in me. I immediately began focusing on my thoughts, actions and feelings regarding this decision. Laugh, I know, its ridiculous. But, I find it fascinating that these issues are even issues at all.

Here is what I've noticed over the past two days about myself and my relationship (yep, i said it) to Facebook.

- it has completely changed my morning routine. i used to get up, check Facebook on my phone (birthdays, events, status updates) and then roll over and get out of bed. this is now gone. as a result, i have observed an slight increase in my anxiety level over missing said birthdays, events, and in general, not having a clue what others are up to each day. this fascinates me for several reasons.

1. i could communicate with some of these individuals over the phone, via email or even in person. however, it is not the preferred way to communicate any longer. this is sad.

2. some of these individuals i cannot contact any other way except Facebook. it dawned on me when i needed a babysitter and had no earthly idea how to contact one of my friends other than messaging her. this is also sad.

- it has made it difficult for me to share things about my life (i.e. chloe). this makes me feel out of the loop and bums me out. for example, over the past 48 hours Chloe has started sleeping in her own bed, taken passport pictures and slept through the night for 9 hours straight and visited my office for the first time. all of these things i would normally post on Facebook for others to be informed of, comment, roll their eyes at. i realize this assumes that others care, but we do. i like to know things about my friends' babies as well. its fun. in turn, it has also made me realize i like to be updated on things my friends say and do. my mom has already asked several times if she could tell me about things she's read that she wanted to share. i truly didn't realize how much i rely on it for news and keeping up with my amigos. is this sad? or just a sign of the times? it might be both.

while i realize these things are perhaps a bit, umm, what's the word...pathetic, they are the truth. they have also made me realize that the social media addiction is a very real addiction. does it impair my life? no. do i feel a void when its gone? yes. strangely enough, its a void created by something i didn't know existed several short years ago.

so, there you have it. i'm pathetic. but, i'm pathetically honest.

and i'll leave you with something to chew on: in the last 48 hours i have posted more total pointless nonsense items to pinterest than ever before.

filling a void, are we???

now onto chloe news. here is a photo montage of the past few weeks.enjoy!

we visited a few of the San Antonio missions with our friends, Katie and Sean, from Chicago. Chloe had never been but suggested we take them there to show off the historical side of her hometown. Totally unrelated, we tried chicken friend bacon and felt our arteries clog really enjoyed it. it won't be something we eat regularly, that's for sure. in fact, probably never again. you're welcome, heart.

chloe also helped me move down her crib from upstairs. after waking up yesterday to the crib tilited to the side and her little face wedged in the bumper, i decided she was never sleeping in it again. she's too big and mommy almost had a heart attack. so, i decided her crib would be moved into her downstairs room and she would sleep in it like a big girl. and she did. however, first, she wanted to take a nap in the hallway while i took off the door to fit it in the room. andrew was at work and we did it ourselves. :) crazy, impulsive and strong. that's us.

here she is snoozing, mid move.

sleeping soundly in the middle of the night. i wanted to capture the moment... which can be described as her sweetly sleeping through the night and me, up at 3 a.m. watching the monitor like it was going out of style. i had to laugh at myself.

this is what i woke up to this morning. what a big girl :)

and then we went to get her passport picture taken for our trip to Mexico this summer. adorable... and the fed ex lady verified.

and here are some of the pics from the last few days... enjoy!

hanging out with grandmama (my grandmother) and her pearls.

hanging out with her friend annabelle while watching a little Baby Einstein.

posing in a ridiculously large bow (we didn't leave the house like that, dont worry) and her fiesta onesie. i bought it big for fiesta in two months and look who's already wearing it. everybody knows its cool to wear 3-6 month clothing at 2 1/2 months. pshhh.

like mother, like daughter. modesty is for the birds. (this is what she did the ENTIRE time we were out shopping at la cantera.)

on our way to have lunch with daddy. she now adores holding that blanket everywhere we go! thanks, gigi :)

peace,
erin

2 months old!

Here are some of the most recent pictures Uncle Taylor took of Chloe! She is growing big, beautiful and strong. We are so very proud of her.

Today at her 2 month appt., she was 23.5 inches long (80th percentile), 14lbs (97th percentile) and had a head circumference of 42cm (80th percentile).

What does this translate to? Awesomeness. We are thrilled at her development and progress. And it helps that we think she's just stunning. :)

peace, erin

Come on, Vogue...

In honor of Madonna's sub par (sorry i love her, but it's true) performance at the SuperBowl two weekends ago, Chloe decided to show you how to REALLY strike a pose.

peace, erin

Things that weigh 15 pounds...

happy two months, my beautiful little Chloe!

peace, erin

SO much has been happening in our house since i've last posted! we have gone on our 'first' day trip with Chloe, she's starting smiling like CRAZY, and she's recognized her feet and loves them. (i don't think she's realized her daddy and i more than likely gave her flat feet... sorry 'bout that, girlie!) And all of those things are great. But, for now i'd like to share (via pictures and text) what made our day trip so very special.

we headed off to Fredricksburg, Tx a few weekends ago to spend some time walking around and enjoying the cool weather. it has quickly become a special place to andrew and i and so, i thought we should share that city with our Chloe.

The day started off great. C-bomb slept all the way to Fredricksburg and continued to sleep while we figured out where we wanted to eat.

once she got up, she was an absolute delight and enjoyed the walk with us for about an hour...

until.... we had a minor explosion. and by minor, i do in fact mean MAJOR. we only have minimal pictures of this 45 minute time span. during our lunch i saw that she had a wet diaper. no problem. i picked her up, took her to the bathroom only to realize they didn't have a changing table. no problem, again. i laid her out on the floor on top of both of her blankets and the changing pad.

so she's comfortable and quiet and good. i begin to change her diaper. i take off the dirty diaper and grab the wipes. the rest happens in slow motion.

as i turn with the wipes, she not only poops... she explodes. all over the changing pad. all over both blankets. all over her body. all over my pants. all over the floor. all over the new diaper.

i freak out and pick her up immediately to take her to the sink. as i do this, she pees all over me. all over the floor. all over the sink. all over the paper towel stack.

then there is a knock on the door. of course someone wants to use the bathroom now. of course.

"just a minute," i say. i feel myself getting sweaty.

now... let me pause for a second. about a year ago i would have been rolling my eyes at this stupid, exaggerated tale about poop. who cares. but not anymore. this moment made me want to jump out the non-existent window in the bathroom. other moms can identify with the absolute panic that occurs when poop covers everything in sight.

and the story continues. i look down at chloe who is perfectly content buck naked, dripping in feces and urine, and staring wide-eyed at me as though she's waiting for my next move. i turn on the faucet and begin to wash off her legs and tummy-- which only makes her scream bloody murder. this is where i show my naivety the water is probably freezing her. so now she's screaming. the person outside the door is probably thinking i'm killing small animals in there. i begin to sweat a bit more as i realize there are maybe two paper towels that weren't peed on.

nevermind, i think. i use my shirt. yummmmmy. so she's dry but there is no place to lay her while i clean up the disaster that is now the bathroom. i don't have a phone to call andrew for help and the person knocks again.. .

REALLY??? does it sound like i'm DONE in here?!

i hold her in one hand, and proceed to wipe the floor and wall clean with her, now, very dirty blankets. they are now covered in feces, urine and whatever else was on the bathroom floor of this public restroom. they will eventually be placed back in her diaper bag. honestly, as i type this, i just realize they should have just been thrown away. i'm going to blame panic for that decision.

okay, so the floor is clean. i stuff ALL of the urinated paper towels in the trash and smash them down to the bottom with my feet. i begin to wish there was a camera in this bathroom (creepy, i know) because this experience would make anyone lose it. but its SOOOO not time to laugh yet. anyway, after that i think i've got everything taken care of. Chloe has stopped crying. the floor is clean. the evidence has been hidden.

and then i realize my daughter is completely naked in my arms. hmmmmm. i proceed to put a diaper on her that is somewhat peed on and don't have a change of clothes with me in the bathroom. i proceed to put her gross little pooped on outfit back on her and decide i need to find another bathroom before they call the firefighters to break me out of the bathroom. its probably been ten minutes at this point.

i leave the bathroom to find andrew sitting at the table smiling. he looks up and says, "that took a while. are you done with your lunch?"

silently, i put her back in her car seat and motion with crazy eyes that its time to go. we walk to the next store and i ask to use bathroom. i change her into a clean diaper, clean clothes and we're off. she looks at me like i'm cramping her style and then she passes out. WAY too much action for her.

so, things are good. we continue shopping and walking and enjoying the weather. and then, i stopped to feed her after about 20 minutes.

while sitting on the bench on a side street....
{insert HORRIFICALLY LOUD pooping noise here.}

i look down and she's just staring at me. as in... i DARE you to check my diaper. (if she could be snarky yet, this would be the moment.) andrew picks her up from me and poop begins to drip down his arm. strike two.

hilarious. twice in one day. we are dumb, idiot parents. but now the problem is that we are out of clothes. so, we are dumb, idiot parents with a naked child. it's 62 degrees and my daughter is diaper-less, without clothing and laying on a street bench in Fredricksburg. parents of the year, 2012.

{insert saving grace}. there is a little souvenir shop behind our bench. i take chloe from andrew, wipe off his hand with the disgusting poop blanket and send him in there to see if they have any onesies. as you will see in the next photo... they do. ironically, we both think its cute. we pay $25 for a stupid onesie and now the photo story continues..


i decided to take a picture of the last episode. this is clearly after she is in her third and final outfit for the day. the damage is in the background. i spared all of you of poop pictures. you're welcome.

here she is... checking out her new outfit. i put the bow on her because that's clearly necessary. plus, it was the only thing without poop on it.

so now that we were all poop-free, we continued our {pleasant} day in Fredricksburg. We took her to see the B & B that we stayed at for our first anniversary. she LOVED it.

and then we finished walking around. notice that she's sound asleep. she had had her fun... now it was nap time. i'm not gonna lie... we didn't mind.

and then she got to experience her first beirgarten. andrew and i stopped to have a beer and listened to some music. she was an angel.

mmmmmmm....beer.

she woke up towards the end and she and andrew talked and smiled for a while.

and then i decided we should discuss ways to keep this afternoon from happening again. i asked her to pinky swear.
she said, "no promises."

peace, erin

Change is the name of the game

Chloe continues to grow everyday! Keeping up with all the changes would be near impossible, but I did decide I should post more pictures which will show you (in a way), what we've been up to.

However, things that you will NOT see a picture of include, but are not limited to:
- her first poop explosion all over mom, the couch, her blanket, two (yes, two) outfits, and three (yes, three diapers).
-the amount of spit up that was accumulating on her car seat until it was recently (getting to it next) cleaned.
-the absolutely beautiful sound of her cooing. i literally have recorded it to listen to it when i'm not with her.
-the poop experience in the bathtub. i'll let that one speak for itself with no further detail...

but here are some captured moments from the ross household lately... needless to say, life is OH so good.

hanging out with pops, being the very happy baby that she is!

learning to coexist/befriend the pups. they have both been excellent with her... as shown by the one and only 'emma'.. aka (the one we were afraid would DISlike chloe the most!)

yes, andrew really took this picture. we are both amazed at the amount of poop this child is capable of producing at a wee 6 weeks of life. she will appreciate hate this picture later.

bath time! she loves it except for the getting out part. however, as a reward for getting out of the tub, we let her use the hair dryer. she LOVES it blowing on her cute little body!

practicing how to be a strong, beautiful girl. i wouldn't have it any other way...

sleeping! we all love it in the house, its just that some of us (ahem, chloe) get to do it WAY more than the other ross family members.

posing for pictures in every single outfit she wears. not kidding.. every...single...one.
sorry, c-bomb, you're just too cute.

SMILING!!!!!!

going for walks. and just for the record, that IS indeed a hat my mom bought her to wear THIS SUMMER. it almost fits now.

more walks. we love them! notice the size of the belly. we also like to eat in this house. ALL of us.

we like to try new things.. such as this carrier. i have yet to buy the moby, but this seemed to work after the initial shock wore off.

did i mention we like to sleep?

but we also like to play! she is just now really interested in her playmat and we spend lots of time talking about the hanging animals and listening to music (of mom's choice). so far, we like the same kind. phew!

getting manicures. she likes putting her hands in water and then getting massages. so does mom.

aaaaaand, after all that, we sleep.

peace, erin

Still waiting for the manual...

As I type Chloe is sleeping resting wiggling around in her cradle during nap time.

It may come as a shock to you, but my child does not like to sit still for long when she knows there are better options. As a result, I've tried three different slings and baby carriers to carry her with me around the house as I do chores. She doesn't like ANY of them! Silly girl thinks chores are more fun than naps. So, I've decided my last attempt will be the Moby. I've heard good things and thus, tomorrow, I'll go get one. But for now, nap time doesn't exist and neither does mommy time. This is problematic for about 45 million reasons.

Okay, wiggling around in her cradle just turned to crying. I'm a sucker for those tears. I'll be right back....

So now Chloe and I are blogging. The point of this blog (well, let's be honest...rarely do they have a point) is to merely vent about how frustrated I am that my mommy manual hasn't arrived yet. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Maybe the hospital forgot my address. As far as I can tell, there are lots of reasons it may have gotten lost... but MAN, don't they know we NEED one?

What do you do when your 11 lb. 5 week old seems to want more to eat after 5 oz. when the doctor says they should be eating 3oz.? How long do you let them cry before your heart actually falls out of your chest? Could my boobs actually burst from hurting so badly?? When do you quit caring about sleep? What is it about 5 am that makes her not want to do anything but cry?

I'm pretty sure the answers are feed them, pick them up, no, never, and who the heck knows. BUT.. what if there is a secret I'm missing? This has led me to believe that its in the manual. And let me tell you, there are times when it seems everyone else has received it. Everyone but me, that is.

Now for the record, I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom. But seriously, child, just TELL me and I'll make it happen. And if Chloe was supposed to come with a manual, she forgot to bring it. That's likely... she is my child, afterall.

(As a side note: if any of you with older kids are done with the newborn manual, please send it my way. I need to see if there's some information on babies who fart louder than adults.)

All kidding aside, things are beautiful. Chloe is growing like a weed... no seriously. WEED. She is about to make her way OUT of size one diapers and is most definitely in 3 mth clothing now. She's big, beautiful and the joy of our lives. She's also getting better at sleeping (mostly). We can get 3-4 hours at a time most nights. That's sexy.

She's currently loving:
-her car seat dangle toys
-smiling at mom
-pooping loudly (it literally scares andrew when he's holding her)
-watching the puppies. watching fingers move. watching ANYTHING.
-cooing herself to sleep (super duper cute)
-bathtime
-carrides

She's currently hating:
-diaper changes
-getting her nose cleaned
-mom blowing on her stomach (although i keep doing it because its fun)
-bed time

k. that's the chloe update for the day. i'd put up a picture of her as a month old, but i didn't take one. again, i think had my mommy manual arrived, i would have remembered to do that. perhaps a 5 week old picture will do? k, great. we'll go take one now. but here are some parting shots from the past week when she happened to be four weeks old. :)

sleeping on daddy's shoulder:

sleeping on mom (not sure when this was taken, but its important to document when we are BOTH sleeping!)

all smiles while eating pizza with pops!

hey mom... i DONT FIT! get me outta here! love, chloe

peace,
erin (& chloe)